||\Unveil Me/||

.::Thoughts Board::.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005*

Sense Too Much

There. I could feel it all there.
Tension rose. Atmosphere was too tight. I thought I wasn't inhaling. Neither was I exhaling.
Was not normal. Too strange. Too rare.

Think too much. I should think more of DNT. Damn.

Those simple words to understand at~~5:09 AM

Sunday, June 26, 2005*

III

It's ending, and it's beginning.
The heartless ranting and behaviour.
The moment of truth you have never hear. Of.
I'm so pumped up.
Hello Term III. Hello books, papers, pens, highlighters, notes.
Goodbye lonely days.

-Aryuna-

Those simple words to understand at~~8:33 AM

Saturday, June 25, 2005*

Widening Gulf

The gap is indeed wide.
I can sense the difference.
I observe the changes.
Sometimes I like the independence, other times I can't live with it.
I just need to learn to adapt to think quicker than I thought, I think.
Guess, assumptions are so inevitable but you just gots ta live with it, doncha?
Hmm. Life. Nothing but not a bed of roses, definitely.

Those simple words to understand at~~11:02 AM

Friday, June 24, 2005*

Came From Ed

Very first time I laid eyes on you
my heart's skipped a beat I was acting a fool
You're like your name, just sweet in every way
I'd do everything, anything u say
don't need to rush we can take it slow
coz u my queen, got the top in a row

Those simple words to understand at~~7:21 AM

The Day You Went Away

Guess we live to learn
We live to learn to adapt to things
and when it's time you go away
You leave your name and your contributions
People respect you if you do good
People would step on your picture if you do bad

A new topic to continue on...
There's 2 more days for me to complete.
And guess what?
I haven't start on any revision, which I had plan to.
Hmm, let's not blame it on laziness, shall we?
It's all in the mind. If you are very strong-will, everything would be done.
All the things that you want to complete would have been completed by now.
My regrets? Nothing but DNT. I haven't completed my artefact, before 1st July, I've to finish it.
Hmm. I think I shall do my thing. What I am skilled at. That is last minute work.
I'll give you a scenario example. A real-life situation.

It was the first day of NCO Course. I was suppose to email the powerpoint slides to Zul before the day itself. However, I totally forgot about it and slept throughout the day, thinking about DNT.
The next day, I woke up because there was a call for me. It was Syahiran. He asked me to email all the powerpoint slides right away. And I said to him, ok I will. Actually, I was already on the loose inside. Coz the cause of the delay was I have not finished my slide! That was the only slide tat was not available. Everything was already saved except for my part. So, I decided to push myself and right away did the slide which was due 2 weeks ago. And voila, I did it in only 15 minutes and send the powerpoint slides right away. No one could detect the last minute work.

Now this had to happen to my DNT artefact, I bet the first week of school, we would struggling on the artefact and presenting it to Ms Cheng without her detecting the last minute thing. IF only Mr Hazmi could save our arses and put in a good word for us, but he had said if only he could help all of us, now it's all up to us to save our arses. Hmm. Very deep words though.

I am seriously waiting for DNT to be completed and done with. Then, as I've said umpteen times, I would be free of DNT and can concentrate better than anyone else can.
I've left with 4 months to O Levels. No one could describe the feeling I am going through. Well, maybe those who have gone through O Levels would know. Haha.
[my brother's going out? Hmm.]
There's no tuition today. Broughtdown to tomorrow. Hmm. My weekends would be packed with last minute stuff. Also, on Monday I would have to pay my 'debt'. Left three more days.
I guess today's entry is not that sophisticated. Oh well... I'll save it till the day that am I really emotionally packed with words. Hoho.

-Umeboshi-

Those simple words to understand at~~3:10 AM

Thursday, June 23, 2005*

The world is racing.

I've seen the world evolved around me. People change as they grow older. The way they change might send a shocking revelation. All of these are just the ups and downs of life. Some changes also seem too abrupt and of desperation. I can't help but to realise this. All of them, they've changed. Or is it that maybe, I am the one who is lagging behind. I observe other persons turn into such beautiful young beings. Me? I don't have an image to boot. Or maybe I don't need one. Maybe I didn't realise I have an image myself, I carry it on my back without noticing it. Maybe like the Umeboshi story Tohru told Kyo. Hmm. It's hard to decipher body language. It's hard to decipher yourself. You can decipher others because you can see the plus points others have, let alone minus points. The only time you can see yourself, literally and metaphorically, is through the device which can reflect you. The mirror. It tells you everything you want to know about you, how you look like, what kind of impression you leave. Other than that, the other mirror has got to be people's reaction towards you.
I wish I knew more about myself. Yet, there's nowhere to start from, from what I can see. Or is it just that time takes the pain away slowly? Patience is the key, I guess.

The reason to why I blabber about this ridiculous topic is because I still don't know where to go after my Os. People have been asking me where I'm going, what will I do after those rough roads and what can I offer the society? I just shrugged my shoulders, sometimes JC is the answer to that, which the image seems quite blurry for now. If I try harder, maybe what I say might turn into reality. If only I had the powerful determination, I could even go beyond the limits. My limits, nothing but the sky. Well, it's all in the mind, huh. I mean, nothing would be done or you won't move if you never put effort to it.
All "typed" but no movements, that's me for now. I bet, in 3 years time, no make it 2 years time, I won't be this sluggish rug I am right now.
Somehow, I really want to change but this damn laziness is pressing me down.
I guess, at the end of it all, it's just me. Again.

-Yet Again-

Those simple words to understand at~~2:14 AM

Wednesday, June 22, 2005*

The History of My Scanz

I've discovered another bomb
The bomb that I have been searching
First sight was when he performed
on MTV, he danced so sleek
He was too perfect, his vocals were not there but his movements were incredible
I decided to search for him
And at last, I've found him
At first, I only knew him as Rain
singing 'It's Raining"
I slowly got to know who he is
and now I am contented

I was attracted to this other bomb
he was playing the piano
Singing "Love, Love, Love" so whole-heartedly
his vocals were extra-ordinary
it was the first time I've heard a Chinese sang in a modernised way
it was too different
His outfit was also laid-back
His accent was so fine
and now I am happy

This other bomb was actually attracting me
when he was acting
I am fond of watching old chinese movies
played on Mediacorp Channel 8
always broadcasted at night
those movies became my bedtime stories
and I saw this heart-throb
The movies played by him, he was young back then
around the age of an old teenager
and Naq agreed with me
He was hot.
However, I heard a lot of negative attitude came from him
Him being rude.
Him being self-conceited.
Him being a smoker.
Him being the Ed.
But I still adore him, his MVs are all potraying him as this cute bad boy.
He raps hard, like Eminem does.
But too bad, another negative point
he can't do live.
I don't know if that's true.

This talented man, his bald and chocolate
I bet he's sweet
I bet only.
Seeing all the vid clips he is in
He sets the trends, he sets the moves
"Excuse me, what's your name?"
He likes to front his tattoos
My brother idolises him
He's always seen with S-n-Double-Oh-Pee
he's just the G.
makes yer chinchilla melt to the heat.

Out of the four, he appeals to me the most.
He takes things as it comes and let it go if it says so
He is so polite and I just like him because of that.
What's more, from a terrible monster who killed a lot of ppl
could repent and be an all-different persona
i admire his determination to change to the better.
When he does his moves, when he drives his cute little Dragon
His limiters are still in tact to his ears.
I have no limitations to like him.
"Yare, yare desu~ne?"

He was a former-geek.
He had a silly childhood promise.
He was just so clumsy, always gets to trouble and has a lot of lives.
Much more than a cat could have.
He just could never die.
He is surrounded by so many different beautiful maidens.
Even though he is distracted, even though he may look so stupid to you.
Don't judge his cover so easily and quickly.
Coz he is one smart ass, who fulfilled his wish of going to Todai
becoming a successful Archaelogist like his Mentor.
After failing 4 times in a row.
I just love him for his determination and his glow.

Hot-tempered, blood-boiled, heat-stroke
Loves to fight his cousin, hates his life.
but he just can't seem to express himself.
That's what's cute about this young man.
All out to show other ppl what he's got.
His outer layer is so hardened up, but if you melt it,
he would softened up and release a clumsy smile.
He is so unpredictable. Shy at times, though. [giggles]

The racer of any mountain you give him.
The fastest he can be.
He hates to talk, or least he doesn't have anything to talk about.
This blur kid is just there to deliver the tofu.
Out of that daily routine, it made him a very professional driver.
The Drift. His drift is superb.
I admire his calmness.
The coolness.
The no-talk but all-work guy.

He used to slash ppl. He slashed anyone who came in his way.
He was given a mission, kill the bad guys.
Kill them for sweet revenge.
Revenge was a harmful element.
Revenge made him lose his love.
It made him realise, he was doing it wrong.
He repented. And became the unique warrior of the era.

And finally,
The person, who sings.
The person, who is a pianist since the age of three.
The person, who likes to clear his throat when he makes a speech or talk.
The person, who has a unique style of rapping.
The person, who knows how to play the flute.
The person, who has nice hairstyles and at times, ones which were just too nasty for him.
The person, who is friendly.
The person, who knows magic tricks.
The person, who appears to be a humorous dude.
The person, who enjoys writing songs and make it a hit on the top charts.
The person, who has 9 albums already.
The person, who can play the cello.
The person, who can survive even if his English Language is not there.
The person, who has the most coolest image in the music industry.
The person, who is the same age as Siti Nurhaliza and even born 3 days before Siti.
The person, who has his concert so grand.
The person, who has a phobia of heights.
The person, who is always compared with Wang Lee Hom.
The person, who loves the two women in his life, his Ma and his Wai Po.
The person, who can make me go head over heels on him. [yikes]
The person, who influenced me to like his music.
The person, who influences many to like his music.
The person, who has sponsors like Handphones, Pepsi and IPOD/MP3s. Even some facial products.
The person, who has a cute laughter.
The person, who has a gap between his teeth.
The person, who can beatbox.
The person, the One, Yan Chang Hui.

These are my Scanz.
Well, I like them for who they are.
-Mirak etb? Anujra, Run!-

Those simple words to understand at~~5:57 AM

Tuesday, June 21, 2005*

You Listen

I knew that there's only a chance to yesterday
Now, I feel so tight up as my dream has not been fulfilled as it should
so much for waiting from dawn
so much for staying till the dusk
Now it feels like I have nothing left
I've lost it
The opportunity was there and I should have grabbed it
but i didn't grab on it
How more foolish can I get?
How more ugly can this perspective I use be?
How can I conclude this self about me?
I have a mixture of feelings instilled inside
It's dangerous coz this is the first time I feel this way
and I better back myself away from the monster deluding in the inner part of me
It's just too much
Too much to ask
And now he's going off
He's going away
and all I ask is to grab his wonderful talented hands
and tell him not to leave me
although i might be small to him
My affections for his piece of contribution are too huge
it's just too big
I knew he was going to be here
and yet I could not make the effort to even move a finger
I was like a mannequin waiting for somebody to move me
not putting in the determination I am suppose to have
Maybe because...
I am telling myself I am fighting this alone
No one told me to bear this affection
I put this upon myself
I should meet my maker

-Have a safe trip Jay.-

Those simple words to understand at~~3:24 PM

Monday, June 20, 2005*

Lonely Driver

I don't really like to use the word 'lonely'.
I guess I'll be watching Initial D alone. *laughs*
Why I want to watch Initial D?
The reason is simply because the main plot of storyline is cool, all about cars and determination. I've watched the anime version and yes it's interesting. One has to be strong and I've learned from the anime that one's concentration won't last long. If you concentrate too much, you might wreck your nerve system. Another thing is that whatever machine you are using, you should understand its rythm fully to be able to use it well. Those are a coupla reasons. For a side-track one, it's because an anime is turned into a real-life act and I am really looking forward to see how it's done. Apart from that, Jay Chou and Edison Chen are going to act in it. That turbos me more and more.
23rd June is the date of launch. On a Thursday, though it would bug me if I were to watch it alone, I guess the main purpose is to understand the story and support the real-life version of one of my favourite anime. I hope there would be English sub-titles but I guess it won't be that much of a problem, coz I've watched several non-subtitled chinese drama before and understood it fully.

Initial D - D stands for drifting, a racing technique of braking the rear tires loose in controlled manner right before an uncontrolled skid. Drifting is the fastest way through a corner. A car is considered to be drifting when all of its wheels are slipping. However, the front wheels are still pointed in the direction of the corner, or at least straight.

>> taken from Initial D - The Movie

Those simple words to understand at~~7:37 PM

Adorable Woman

Maybe life isn't that tough at all.
When you think it's tough, it would be tough. But try to think it of a positive tone. I don't think it's that tough at all. When you say you can do it, you surely can.
Take for example, you went out of your house just to get on a bus to go to your destination. As you reach the bus stop, you see your bus is about to leave you behind. But you just had the instinct to run and get it. In your mind, you keep on chanting, you keep on saying to your heart "I must get on the bus! I must get on the bus!" You think nothing else but determined to get on the bus. And soon enough, you find yourself sitting in the comfort of the air-conditioned bus. Without realising it, you've just broken the world's record of being the fastest 100m runner anyone could have witness.
There was this story, a mother ran after her baby in a pram which was going down a slope, by gravitational pull. She was said to have broken a record, running faster than any sprinter could run. When you want it, you get it. And no work would be worth it without sweating it off.

Those simple words to understand at~~7:40 AM